


Pretending

by Daisyith



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Sided Love, upset
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-10-25
Packaged: 2018-08-24 15:32:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8377549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Daisyith/pseuds/Daisyith
Summary: Dan peered down at Sebastian lying beneath him. From this angle, it was easy to pretend it was love…





	

Daniel couldn’t help the smug smile that tugged at the corners of his mouth. He had watched Sebastian fall apart beneath each touch. He was the reason Seb’s eyes were closed, his eyelashes fluttering gently against his cheekbones. He was the reason Seb’s chest was rising and falling erratically, warm pants of breath escaping from between his red, parted lips. Sebastian had his hands tangled into the bed sheets, fingers clenching around the material. It was dark against his pale skin, exposing the purple bruises sucked into the expanse of skin visible on his neck; small marks of passion. There was a thin layer of sweat dampening Seb’s body, a small bead of liquid running down his cheek. His hair was a mess of wild curls, sticking up randomly from Dan’s fingers gently pulling at it. Sebastian was a mess. And Daniel had turned him into one. 

Through half-lidded eyes, Dan peered down at Sebastian lying beneath him. From this angle, it was easy to pretend it was love… But Dan knew it couldn’t continue like this, that it would have to stop. It just wasn’t fair on him. It had started off as nothing, no more than an easy release after a stressful weekend. The first time had been messy, rushed as they hurriedly undressed themselves, concealed in the shadows of the motorhome. Their sweat covered bodies still tasted like champagne, the sticky liquid clinging to their skin. There had been no love whispered words, no comforting embraces, it had been quick as Sebastian left a confused looking Dan to clear up the mess. He blamed it on the alcohol, the feeling of victory. After that first race, it had become a regular occurrence, the German seeking Dan as the sun began to set. Sometimes they wouldn’t even make it to the hotel room, finding a darkened corridor or empty closet, even hiding somewhere outside. It didn’t matter where or when, all that mattered was that it happened. 

Dan had never meant to get so lost. He’d never meant for it to get so far. But after race, he couldn’t help the fluttering of his heart or the tug at the corners of his mouth as he anticipated the German’s arrival. He always looked forward to spending such an intimate moment with the German. He was falling in love with Sebastian and there was nothing he could do. Unable to support his weight any longer, Dan collapsed beside Seb, resting his head against the muscular chest as he tried desperately to catch his own breath. It was easy to pretend it was love. Easy to pretend Sebastian felt the same way.

But Sebastian’s heart lay elsewhere… As Dan glanced down, he spotted the silver band shimmering in the late evening sun. It was the one thing separating them. The one thing keeping them apart. As much as Dan longed for matching metal on his left hand, he knew it would never happen. For it was not him wearing the symbol of love but rather another Australian living the other side of the world. 

As Sebastian lifted his hand, his fingers gently combing through Dan’s messy hair, pushing aside the strands that had fallen into his eyes, it was easy to pretend it was love. He could pretend that they had something together, that it wouldn’t be over the moment they left the hotel room. He could almost pretend that the whispered words and gentle caresses, the loving kisses would continue. But he knew they wouldn’t. They would go back to being the two ex-teammates, the two friends. Only friends, nothing more.

Every time he found his body lulled into an unconscious slumber, he promised himself that it would be the last. He knew it couldn’t keep going, that he couldn’t keep putting himself through the emotional turmoil. But every promise was empty, he knew it wouldn’t stick. There was something about Sebastian that kept him coming back. He wanted to escape.

But he couldn’t. He was stuck in a continuous loop, finding comfort in the warmth of Sebastian’s hand pressed against his bare chest. It was never going to be anything more, never going to be anything meaningful. But Dan didn’t care. Everytime he tried to escape, find something better, he always ended up back in Sebastian’s arms. When they were apart, Dan longed for the sweet scent of Seb’s aftershave, wished for the taste of chocolate lingering on his lips, hoped for the weight of his body pressed against his own. He couldn’t escape. He could only pretend. Pretend it was love shared between the two, pretend that they were meant for each other. It was the only thing keeping Dan going...


End file.
